Not so long ago, my eight-year-old daughter was told to quiet down. I started thinking about other things she has been told throughout the years and things we are generally told as women. These messages often shape our identities in subtle yet profound ways. Expectations, and the pressure to live up to them, are placed on us from an early age. I wanted to respond to those expectations. The constant reminders to be polite, to not take up too much space, or to conform to societal norms weigh heavily on young girls’ minds as they grow.
I wrote the poem “They Tell My Girl.” It was originally published in Aashiyana Literary Magazine in their issue themed Women Empowerment along with some of my other poems on the subject. In this piece, I sought to confront those stereotypes and challenge the boundaries imposed on us. I then wrote a longer version to be performed at a poetry slam. I hoped to resonate with others and to ignite a conversation about the empowerment of women from childhood. Here it goes:
They Tell My Girl
They tell my girl: “Don’t take up too much room.
Clean up after yourself and take of everyone else.”
I say to her: “You have no one to please.
Take care of yourself and look after what you need.”
They tell my girl: “Don’t make such a mess.”
I say to her: “Your art is everlasting,
carve out your space.”
They tell my girl: “You have to be nice.”
I say: “Look after your own boundaries,
Being honest will suffice.”
They tell my girl: “Answer when I’m talking to you.”
I say: “You have the right to take your time
and think it through.”
They tell my girl: “Don’t talk back, you’re being rude.”
I say to her: “You have the right to question things when they’re not adding up to you.”
They tell my girl; “Be quiet, you’re too loud.”
I say to her; “Scream at the top of your lungs.”
Use your voice, you have the right to be heard.
Say what you want to say without being deterred.
Become the person you are meant to be.
Don’t be shaped on what other’s perceive.
You’re brilliant, your mind shines so bright.
You have to be you, vivacious and alive.
A whole lineage of women stands behind you proud.
Don’t let anybody tell you to quiet down.
Concluding Thoughts
I believe that it is important to question expectations that are put on us as women. Also to stand up for yourself and your right to express who you are. We should not allow societal norms to dictate how we perceive ourselves or limit our potential. I also think that we, as a society, should think deeply about what we tell our girls, guiding them to embrace their individuality. You don’t have to fit into any mold. It’s crucial to foster an environment where they feel encouraged to be unapologetically themselves. If there is one thing I want to teach my daughters, it is that their unique voices matter. They don’t have to conform to anyone else.
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